The Faith to Come Forward: Healing from Spiritual + Sexual Abuse
“The road to healing isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.”
I’m Hayle, a Georgia girl at heart — raised near Americus and shaped by the small-town life. Sports have always been part of my story, especially soccer, and I’ll proudly cheer for the Georgia Bulldogs any day. I find joy in the outdoors and in continually learning through reading and discovery. But more than anything, I love Jesus. My deepest passion is to teach His Word and to live a life that reflects His glory — even through the parts of my story marked by pain. I believe every experience, both the joy and the hardship, can be leveraged for His name and His renown.
My story begins with a deep desire to know God. After giving my life to Jesus and being baptized, I was hungry to learn and grow in my faith. That hunger led me into what I thought was discipleship — but instead, it became a story of spiritual and sexual abuse. I was targeted, groomed, and manipulated by a man I trusted — a pastor and university vice president.
For years, I had looked up to him and his family. Their home felt safe, like a second family. When he offered to disciple me, I said yes without hesitation. I wanted to know Jesus more. But over time, the boundaries blurred. Bible studies turned into private meetings. Spiritual conversations became confusing and violating. He told me what he was doing was from God — that it was His will for my life. When I questioned it, he used Scripture to silence me. It was as if, in order for me to obey God, I had to obey him and trust him. This continued for nearly seven years. I was young, eager to follow God, and trapped in manipulation I couldn’t yet name. There was no consent — only control, secrecy, and spiritual deception. It left me confused, ashamed, and broken. Yet even in the darkness, God never let go. Through His kindness and truth, He began to show me that what happened was not His will — and that His love can redeem even the deepest wounds.
It left me confused, ashamed, and broken. Yet even in the darkness, God never let go.
Following this, I stepped into counseling desperate to be whole. I wanted God to use my life — even the parts I hadn’t yet shared. For a long time, I prayed, “Use my life, Lord,” but really I felt numb to what had happened to me. I hadn’t acknowledged or healed from it– I ran away from it trying to feel safe.
Eventually, I surrendered completely and asked God to use all of it — even the pain — for His glory. Counseling was my first step toward healing, but it also unearthed memories I had buried deep. As my body began to remember, the days grew dark. I still recall a moment in a grocery store when a flashback hit so hard I collapsed, trembling and crying. Moments like this left me fragile and hopeless. I didn’t want to live anymore.
A number of moments felt impossible to survive, filing a police report of what happened, having the investigator shut it all down, or having my story published on a front page article of the AJC.
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5 (NIV)
That verse used to hang on my wall, but one day I tore it down — along with every other Scripture I had posted. I threw my Bible across the room and screamed, “I hate you, God.” In that moment, I felt betrayed. None of this, I thought, would have happened if I hadn’t given my life to Jesus. As the memories resurfaced, I wrestled deeply with how a God I knew to be loving and kind could have allowed this to happen to me.
When a friend found me with a knife and a goodbye letter, she rushed me to my mentor’s house. I ended up practically living with; as I was over at her house for every other day check-ins for months.
My mentor refused to let me give up — she made me read Scripture out loud, listen to worship, and fill my mind with truth even when my heart couldn’t believe it. She showed me that God can handle our honesty and our wrestling. She taught me how to wrestle with God, not run from Him. She kept reminding me that what Jesus did on the cross proved His love once and for all — that His love for me wasn’t in question, and over time, as memories and triggers came, their power slowly began to lessen.
The darkness no longer had the same hold.
Light was breaking through again.
“If I could tell someone else who’s hurting anything, it would be this: Jesus loves you. Truly, deeply, unshakably — He does.”
The pain of what has been done to you is real, but so is Jesus. And in Him, there is healing, hope, and freedom. The road to healing isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. I once lived bound by fear, anger, and a deep sense of worthlessness. But through Jesus, I’ve learned that what happened to me doesn’t define me anymore. My story is still the same — but I’m not the same. If you’re wrestling, don’t run from God — wrestle with Him. Run to Him, even when you don’t want to. Abide in His Word, even when it’s hard to believe. Jesus said, “If you abide in Me, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Freedom comes not from knowing about Him, but from living with Him — walking, abiding, and letting His truth take root in your soul.
“You are seen. You are believed. You are loved by the King of Kings. Healing doesn’t happen by default, and time alone doesn’t heal pain — truth does. We can’t heal from what we conceal. You don’t have to minimize what’s happened or pretend you’re okay.”
I think of the woman in the Gospels with the issue of bleeding. She didn’t hide or pretend she was fine — she came to Jesus, broken and desperate, believing He could make her whole. That same Jesus is still healing today. As believers, we hold onto the promise that this life is not the end of the story. We are promised eternal life, and one day, God will make all things right. We are secure in Him. I’ve had to whisper that truth to myself over and over again — and every time, His light meets me there.
