The Strength to Mother Special Needs
“I get to be their mom!”
My name is Kristi Catt. I live with my husband of 23 years in Northern Michigan with our two amazing boys, Hudson and Boden. I grew up in Northern Michigan but went to college in Southern Michigan and got my degree in Business Marketing. I worked mainly with non profits after graduating and then transitioned to being a stay at home Mom when I had the boys.
My story begins when Hudson was a year and a half years old. My husband and I began to notice delays that would soon make clear that they were more than just delays. Hudson was diagnosed with “apraxia” at a young age.
In moments like this as a mother, you begin to take on so much anxiety and guilt, wondering what you could have done differently to help your child.
After I had our second baby, a few years into his life we realized he also had special needs. We began to observe delays accompanied by behaviors that felt challenging, and I struggled to understand why God would let this happen to both of my babies. At times, I felt like I wasn’t equipped to be the Mom they needed, and many times felt like I was failing them.
“I felt like I wasn’t equipped to be the mom they needed…”
But God is funny. Slowly, over time and as soon as I felt like all hope was lost, He would show up in unexpected ways showing me He was indeed still there working all things together.
There was a specific moment where I remember being on the floor praying, crying and shouting to God why both…why both of my boys? I could understand one of them having delays and special needs but both seemed so unfair. God has given me dreams and “words" about my boys and honestly that is what I cling to as my hope for them. I clung to the promise that He has a plan for them even in the midst of the struggle and challenges. A true beauty from ashes hope.
What does your present day look like?
My boys are older now, with Hudson in high school, and we have grown with the seasons.
Honestly my confidence has grown in that a lot of people love and care about my boys and want to see the best for them so I don’t feel as alone as maybe in the beginning when they were younger.
My sister and cousin also have special needs kiddos, and this has been such a deep element of help and community. Having others walk beside you going through the exact same is so important.
I have to be honest in that the thought of that weighs pretty heavily on my mind sometimes. God continues to show up in big ways though, so I am always reminding myself that God loves them more. He love them more deeply than even I do and He has plans for them to contribute to His kingdom in ways I can only begin to imagine. Trust is an every day decision.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14
If I were to tell anyone walking through something similar it would be to remember that Exodus 14:14 says, “The Lord will find for you; you need only to be still.” Everything is in God's timing not in ours. We have to daily reframe that things happen to us, take everything captive, and settle into gratitude.
I get to be Hudson and Boden's Mom. And I’m so thankful.
Recommended resources from Kristi:
“The Warrior We Call Mom” // Book
Daily Scripture Reading
